Showing posts with label Fight. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Fight. Show all posts

Sunday, 11 February 2024

Negativity Fast Tips - How to fight with HONOUR

Today's Negativity Fast Tip. Battle negativity on noble terms—learn how to fight with HONOUR and maintain integrity in adversity!

Trevor Lund has helped over 10,000 people fast from negativity since 2006. Check out all the tips and tools to fast from negativity https://revtrev.link/tips Join the negativity fast at https://revtrev.link/fast and find out how to Live LIGHT Above the Negativity https://revtrev.link/bless

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Philippians 4:2-4 from The Message, and it says, "Don't push your way to the front. Don't sweet talk your way to the top. Put yourself aside and help others get ahead. Don't be obsessed with getting your own advantage. Forget yourselves long enough to lend a helping hand.”

When I was a young pastor, I started counselling. We did a lot of premarital counselling. One of the things that I would get couples to do is create rules for fighting because you are going to fight. You're going to go at it. Some of that homework that came back, it troubled me. So I said, "Okay, guys, no, let's take a time out. I'm going to give you rules for fighting, and the homework is going to be to practice these rules for fighting."

My goodness, people don't know how to treat each other. And it's not just couples. It is in the workplace. It is in the schools. It is wherever we are. If you are a follower of Christ, you can't live that way. You have got to line yourself up with the will of God expressed in scripture. His will for you is to honour all people.

So that's how we get the acronym HONOUR to help us remember how to honour all people. How do you honour when you fight?

Fight with HONOUR

‘H’ - is for you to hone in on the topic at hand. You speak to the situation. You say, "This is what you did and said, and this is why it disagree with it or it upset me." It's specific.

'O' is for 'Only speak words of life.' You cut out the sarcasm, the condemnation, the shame. Do not let those words come out of your mouth. Nothing should come out of your mouth that isn't for the building up of others.

'N' is for 'Never allow or return name-calling.' Resorting to name-calling is the same as placing curses on people. Don't do it to them, even if they started it. It's okay in the middle of an argument to say, "Okay, time out. I'm not accepting that name. I'm not accepting that label."

‘O’ is Operate in the present. Stop using “Always" and “Never” Nobody always, always, and nobody never, never. So quit using those words. So you operate in the present.

'U' is for 'Understand the other person.' This is why we spell it Canadian one way, right? Because we do need to understand the other person. You listen to what they're saying. You seek to understanding more than to be understood. Can you do that?

'R' is for 'Resolve the argument.' Not everything is going to be resolved, right? You're not going to get everyone to agree with you. You're not going to agree with them, but it's okay. They're allowed to have their own opinion. You don't go to bed angry. You don't bring up the argument with others to rally support or curry favour. You continue to person.

That's how you fight with HONOUR.

Next Steps

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Carpe Vitae!

Live LIGHT Negativity Fast

Saturday, 4 July 2020

How to Fight with HONOUR

All of us need to know how to fight with HONOUR. Learn how you can start doing it today.

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Verse on HONOUR

Philippians 2:2-4 The Message Don’t push your way to the front; don’t sweet-talk your way to the top. Put yourself aside, and help others get ahead. Don’t be obsessed with getting your own advantage. Forget yourselves long enough to lend a helping hand.
Fight with HONOUR

Thoughts on How to fight with HONOUR

When I started counselling couples, one of the first activities I had them do was to set up ground rules for fighting. If it was premarital counselling and the couple wasn’t living together the rules were a little airy-fairy. If the couple was in trouble they’d come back with rules, “Only slam the door once when you’re running away from the argument.

It didn’t take me long to develop this tool to give them. I’ve developed it further over time and encourage people to use it with whoever they need to confront about something. This works great to start any difficult conversation.

For couples I now recommend they dance their discussions. Either one can suggest a dance. Neither one can ever deny. Hold each other close, sway to some beat and don’t try to step on each others toes.

For non-married relationships we have tips to how to fight with HONOUR

Tips to How To Fight With HONOUR

Hone in on the topic at hand.

Speak to the situation “This is what you

did/said; this is why I disagree/it upset me.”

Only speak words of life.

Cut out the sarcasm, condemnation and shame.

Name calling and labels are never to be returned.

Resorting to name calling and labels is the same as placing curses on people. Don’t do it to them, even if they started it.

Operate in the present.

Avoid saying, “You always” and “You never”. Both are untrue and are used to simply cause pain. If you’re physically present with the person, look at them in the eye and don’t turn your back to them.

Understand the other person.

Listen to what they are saying. Reflect back what you think you hear and see. When they agreed you hear them, continue on.

Resolve the argument.

It’s OK to disagree. Allow them the right to hold their own opinion. Don’t go to bed angry. Don’t bring the argument up with others to rally support or curry pity; continue to honour the person. Remember it’s your job to choose to forgive and choose to bless.

Can I pray for you?

Holy Spirit thank you that you’ll give us the words to say whenever we need them. Thank you Jesus you’ll give us your love when we need more. Thank you Father you give us wisdom when we ask. Please be with those who are watching this because they need to confront someone about something. Help them to speak truth in love. Amen.

Next Step

Sign up for the Live LIGHT Above the Negativity Challenge today at https://revtrev.com/fast and get 40 daily emails to help you Live LIGHT Above the Negativity and bring your thoughts, words and actions into more agreement with the will of God expressed in the Bible.

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